Change in Progress

Monday, October 3, 2011

Tummy Tales

This week Sunshine's Journey to 199 Team Blue came in at an awesome 26.2 pounds lost!!! Team Gold beat us by only .6lb this week! And to add on to the amazing news the groups collectively have lost an amazing HALF A TON in 7 weeks. Lives are changing and waists are getting smaller every single day. It's an amazing group of people I have aligned myself with and I couldn't be prouder of each and every one of them.

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Being Fierce in my *new* Blue Sports Bra

What's the saying? Every wrinkle has a story... well I don't have any wrinkles right now (know on wood) but I think my stomach has a story...my stomach is the story of my survival. After two liver transplants and other abdominal surgeries my stomach looks like a war torn country. After I had my first liver transplant in 1999 I would show my scar to anyone who asked. An inverted Y slightly darker than my normal complexion. It was a thing of beauty it was my badge of honor, "I survived a liver transplant and I'm awesome" For 9 years I carried that scar with pride, When I was told that I would need a second transplant my beautiful scar was the last thing on my mind was trying not to die in front of my mother. My team was amazing and my surgeon who did my previous surgery told me that he was going to use my previous scar as a guide so that it would appear that I only had one scar. Needless to say things didn't turn out that way...when I was released from the hospital my incision began to open and I developed a serious infection and had to have my entire incision reopened and after my debridement was placed on a wound pump while my stomach closed naturally . Because of this my stomach now looks like a frown (okay to be honest I don't know what the hell my stomach looks like...how about it has "sections")

I no longer show my stomach in pride, my beautiful scar is no more, and 3 years after my transplant I still look at my stomach in horror and disgust. I will never wear a bikini no matter how much weight I loss, I always wear loose shirts, I don't want to bring any attention to my stomach. The one day I was watching Dr. Oz and the audience was filled with women of all shapes and sizes in sports bras talking about their hate relationships with thier stomach and it struck a cord with me, and in that moment I realized that I was not brave enough to sit in that audience I don't like showing my boyfriend my stomach how in the hell could I get on national television and show America my "elephant man" stomach.

I had to seriously think about what it was that bothered me, was it the fact that I was fat? Nope! Was it the scar? Maybe! But I realized it was about being vulnerable, I don't know many people who like being vulnerable in front of anyone . I got brave and went to Longevity, Inc and posted this

So I'm sitting here watching Dr. Oz and they are talking about bellies and belly fat. All these women are sitting in the audience with sports bra bearing their bellies. All shapes and sizes of women. And it occurred to me... bearing you belly is like bearing your soul! You don't want to feel exposed and open, so like our bellies we cover it up. I find it interesting that just a few days ago we were talking about it, and I made the off handed comment that my stomach looks like a science experiment gone wrong. After two transplants (especially the last one) my stomach has been sliced and diced more than I would like and because my surgical wounds opened I had to allow my stomach to naturally close on it own... so the scar is huge and ugly. So me more than anyone else has reason to hide their belly.Many people have said that they feel a certain amount of freedom on this group, no judgement and acceptance is here. So why would it be difficult for me to show my belly. My belly is shows my battle scars of a person who's gone to war and won the fit... so I should be proud of that.
So I propose movement.... SHOW YOUR BELLIES!! Take a picture of yourselves in your sports bra as your "BEFORE" so you can slowly see the changes in your body...

Not pretty, but it's mine!

As of October 3, 2011 No one has posted a picture, so since I was the one who opened my mouth. I guess I gotta put out or shut up.... me and my grand ideas? What the hell was I thinking? And where was my common sense when I proposed this grand idea? So with great trepidation I am posting my picture

My stomach is not pretty, but it tells my story... And I'm okay with that!

(After looking at the picture I just realize I have stomach boobs....lol)

Thanks goes to my brother for braving the chunky butt and taking my pictures

I'm also wanna share my progression pics. Everything is the same. Shirt... Pants... even the Cat..
For those of you wondering Elmo has decided that he doesn't want to lose weight... and holding steady at 14 pounds!

254

270

Sunday, October 2, 2011

In: 30/40/50 Challenge , Accountability , Blue Team , Longevity , Mom's Wisdom , Nutritional values , Pretty Girl Rock , Sunshine's Journey to 199 , Weekend Update

Pretty Girl('s Do Indeed) Rock

Yesterday I posted something on Longevity , " I realize something today (Has an AHA! moment) I realized that I'm pretty. This is a big deal for me because I have never considered myself pretty ...EVER!"

Maybe I should start at the beginning.... being the only girl from a woman who is also the only girl, my mother instilled in me the art of being girly, now this coming from a sassy woman was quite a lesson hair was always done to perfection, ribbons and hair barrettes ALWAYS matched my outfit and earrings were a must. As I got older girdles were added to the mix. Because in the tradition of southern black women, "a lady ALWAYS wears a girdle" so I should especially proud because I was 12 years old and wearing a girdle.

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By the time high school came around, I had the girly thing down pact, although the pig tails and the hair barrettes were gone I was still wearing the girdle and would roll my hair every night before school so that my hair would be curled perfection... no one could tell you that I wasn't girly. But with high school came the cruel reality that I could be girly but could I be pretty.? There were a lot of pretty girls at my high school and I was friends with a lot of them, but I never felt like anything other than the fat, funny sidekick... this feeling stayed with me for years.

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3 college degrees, 2 liver transplants, boyfriends I dare not count, and friends near and far, and lesson's that have served me well through life, I still have yet to learned how to be pretty. My mother on the other had always had the motto that she was "As Fine As Wine" and no one could tell her different, my motto was, "Fake It Till You Make It" Over the years, I've allowed myself to be cute, maybe even attractive, but it wasn't until yesterday that I looked in the mirror and really looked at myself. I looked at my freckles, my eyes, even my pointy ears, and the rest of my imperfections and thought to myself, "Tyra you're pretty". Why did it take me so long to find my pretty?

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I don't think the answer has anything to do with looks. I think more than anything it's about acceptance. At the age of 34 I learned a lesson my mother has spent her entire life teaching her children, "Love yourself first, and others will follow", all this time I was trying to be pretty... when I was beautiful all along.

Now for those of you who were wondering. I stopped wearing a girdle when I graduated high school... as I got older it felt like my girly bits were being strangled and I longed to be free... I do wear Spankx on special occasions...my mother, well she still wears a griddle daily. And she swears if I wore one daily this would have been a lesson I would have learned years ago.

Thanks to everyone at Longevity, Inc. who shared this AHA! moment with me and to Stacey, Michelle and Davette for the encouraging words

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Now on to the fun part.... This weekend I have been good!

Saturday

Totals	1324	165	55	52
Your Daily Goal	1626	223	54	61
Remaining	302	58	-1	9
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

I finally got a chance to do some walking....and shopping!

Sunday

Totals	1656	193	61	90
Your Daily Goal	1833	252	61	68
Remaining	177	59	0	-22
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

I actually had more protien that I am allowed....this is a first!!

Did you know that DO is the first part of DONE?? As always, when you know better you do better!

Friday, September 30, 2011

In: 30/40/50 Challenge , Donnie Wahlberg , motivation , Nutritional values , Weigh In

My "Secret" Shame

Frequently I talk to Donnie Wahlberg, okay my imaginary version of Donnie Wahlberg (I'm not crazy....okay I'm not THAT crazy) Usually he doesn't get me into trouble but today he did... take a look at the excerpt of our conversation below

IDW: Stay and watch Blue Bloods with me
T: But I need to do my 30/40/50 today..
IDW: Tomorrow, you can do them tomorrow
T: I guess, you're right Donnie, I did dance like a stripper today
IDW: A stripper...do tell......

****Which leads me to secret shame... POLE DANCING!*****

This is what I think I'm doing

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I find the exercise to be fun, and funny (I laugh through most of the moves), and my cat Elmo seems to wonder what the hell I'm doing dancing against the shiny scratching pole. But it's movement and it get's my heart rate up, and one day I'm gonna get some courage and take a proper class so that I can dance for my boyfriend... but for now, I'm just trying not to break my arm, foot , or pride...lol

This is probably what I'm doing

Thanks to ThaPriSSyViXXXen and TheWhiteTrashNetwork for the use of their wonderful videos. To check out more of their videos follow the links

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So yesterday I didn't blog, I was being lazy and Vampire Dairies was on. But in ordiance with being accountable I am posting my values for yesterday.

Totals	1080	88	55	63
Your Daily Goal	1410	194	47	53
Remaining	330	106	-8	-10
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

So I went a little over on the fat and the protein .. can you believe it... I actually met my protein requirement for the day!
Still under my recommended caloric intake for the day

Today I did better.....

Totals	1284	117	42	48
Your Daily Goal	2013	276	67	75
Remaining	729	159	25	27
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

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Oh and I forgot the BEST part, I got on the scale today which I do every Friday without fail... and I was down 12.8 pounds!!! Okay, Okay 10 of those pounds I gained during the time I was sick (and on my blogging hiatus) but the number is different (and lower than it was the week before and that's all that counts. So Tyra now weighs 254.6!! And that makes me happy. I got some snazzy fall pants I want to rock once there weather gets a little colder...

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As always when you know better, you do better ....until next time!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

In: 30/40/50 Challenge , Accountability , Nutritional values

Rain, rain go away!

It's been raining for four days here in Chicago, and I would like to go outside and have a walk. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and allow me to do that . This morning I got on the Alpine Stair Master for 30 minutes... let's just say my booty is tight!!! I also did my 30/40/50 Challenge... YAY!

I tried to make better choices in the food that I ate, I stayed within my point range, and I think I did better than yesterday

Totals	1905	236	79	73
Your Daily Goal	2282	313	76	85
Remaining	377	77	-3	12
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

As always tomorrow is another day to DO better, and to BE better. Until then........

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In: 30/40/50 Challenge , Accountability , motivation , Nutritional values , Transplant , Weigh In

How deciding a life of yes turned into a challenge part 2

So I weighed in on a whim... GOOD NEWS!!! Second of all let me say that I'm hurting and in desperate nee of a massage, even the nail on my pinkie toe is crying out in agony. But nothing a banana, two Tylenol and a bottle of water can't fix (I hope).

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I have an issue that is counteracting my weight loss... most days I don't eat enough. Having two transplants and several abdominal surgeries has made me a very picky eater, so a lot of time it takes a lot of effort to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. My eating style has always been a grazer, eat a little here... eat a little there, and a few hours later I'm full.. The reason I bring this up is because I logged in my food and exercise info MyFitnessPal and out came this bit of info.

Totals	990	160	31	23	20	3000
Your Daily Goal	1991	273	66	74	40	2500
Remaining	1001	113	35	51	20	-500
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sugar	Sodium

*You've earned 581 extra calories from exercise today

**Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are eating too few calories. Not only is it difficult to receive adequate nutrition at these calorie levels, but you could also be putting your body into starvation mode. Starvation mode lowers your metabolism and makes weight loss more difficult. We suggest increasing your calorie consumption to 1,200 calories per day minimum.

I was using SparksPeople, and I had no problem with them expect I couldn't sync information if I put it into my phone... and that was a plain in the but...who wants to enter information more than once? But otherwise it was a great program.

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Now back to this 30/40/50 challenge, If Sweat is my Fat Crying, My fat is severely depressed cause I was sweating like a pig in a sauna...it was not pretty!

Already I can see that I may need to modify these exercises to fit my needs (that's not cheating is it) maybe I should say my knees....those squats are not knee friendly at all and considering my knees are yelling at me, "WHY!!????!!" I'm gonna have to do something about that or no more challenge or walking for me.

That was so me tonight, except with a lot more sweat, and lots of crying and gasping for breath.... and don't forget the cursing!

And finally I got a new motto, from the newest member of the BLUE TEAM Jenny. "If I BITE it, I WRITE it!"... talk about accountability... Way

to Go!!!

How deciding a life of yes turned into a challenge part 1

Sunshine's Journey to 199 has sucked me in AGAIN.. for the last month or so I kept saying no, I don't want to do this, this is something that I can't do!! But oddly enough after watching last night's premier of Gossip Girl, I have decided to live a life is YES.(Thank you Chuck Bass).

Yesterday the Blue Team ... well several members committed to Sunshine's 30/40/50 Challenge. What is the 30/40/50 Challenge you ask. Well the NO TYRA would say, "PAIN!!!" but the YES TYRA would say Awesomeness, that are tight abs, tight ass, and toned thighs...but Sunshine's would define it as 30 push ups, 40 squats, and 50 sit- ups, I'm not gonna lie, this scares me a lot. A LOT! I don't want to fail at this, but I won't know unless I try!

I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna look like this when I'm finished today -->
But that's okay, because I tried, and I'll try again tomorrow and the the day after and the day after that! I'm committed and I know it's not easy, but I've survived worst than this and came out the other side... Sit ups, and push ups will not be my downfall! Wish my luck and send me your prayers.... cause I already here the complaining happening ....

When things do work out the way that you plan....RECOGNIZE, REGROUP and REDO!

Laterz,

Monday, September 26, 2011

In: Accountability , Donnie Wahlberg , Edge of Glory , Lady GaGa , Nutritional values , Rise n Grind

I totally got my ass handed to me today

I've given up on Donnie Wahlberg, he's just not doing it for me anymore, so it's time to find another motivational song... so I went with something I love, love, love ....Lady GaGa (clearly it was time to pull out the big guns.... keep reading and you'll find out why)

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So after spending a two weeks battling an infection and some weird jaw situation, and a 10 pound weight gain but now I'm BACK! And let me say that getting back in the grove of thing has been very difficult, after spending 3 hours trying to figure out how to get out of the day and be productive, only to roll over and decide it wasn't worth it... needless to say I got out of bed and tried to start the day right.. I logged on to Sparks People and start tracking my nutrition and my activities.
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CONFESSION TIME

I had some Little Debbies.... okay... OKAY I had 3!! They say that admitting the problem is the first step, but they were talking to me... they were saying "We know you don't feel well, so eat us and it'll be all better" So did I feel better... no like a half a second, which probably accounts to why I had 3.. I won't fall for that trick again you chocolate pieces of yumminess...So if I would have had them I would have eaten I would have stay within my caloric allotment.

I need to incorporate more protein into my diet, it's difficult because I don't eat a lot of meat, I don't like eggs, and it seems to be the barrier that's been difficult for me to get through, and it's so important for weight loss, so I'm going to invest in protein powder and see how that works for me, if any of you have suggestions which would be helpful
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So back to how I got my ass handed to me...

Protein My Goal – 60-151 Today – 33

Protein is an essential nutrient that does more than build muscles. It plays a role in cell repair, hormone production and fluid balance, to name a few. So pump up your protein intake to stay fit and healthy.
Bring on the beans. All types of beans provide about 7 grams of protein per 1/2-cup serving. Add them to soups, salads, burritos, omelets, and more! (none of these sound appealing to me)

Calories My Goal – 1480-1830 Today – 1995

Eating too many calories can lead to weight problems, which can increase your risk of several lifestyle diseases. (No..... REALLY??)

Carbohydrates My Goal – 195-281 Today – 300

While carbohydrates provide energy and nutrients, too much of a good thing can be bad. A high carbohydrate intake can lead to weight problems, blood sugar spikes, energy lulls, and increased hunger. An excessive carb intake can also increase your risk for diseases such as heart disease, insulin resistance, and diabetes.
Limit sweets. Sweet and sugary foods are often rich in carbohydrates and calories, but provide little nutrition beyond that. (It was the Little Debbie's... they called to me *looks down in shame*)

Calories My Goal – 1480-1830 Today – 1995

Eating too many calories can lead to weight problems, which can increase your risk of several lifestyle diseases. (rolls eyes)

Clearly you can see I don't enjoy being told what's what..even if it is a website that I signed up for....but I have to remember that tomorrow is another day, another day to be better and be better, and I plan to do just that!

Change in Progress

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Tummy Tales

Pretty Girl('s Do Indeed) Rock

My "Secret" Shame

Rain, rain go away!

How deciding a life of yes turned into a challenge part 2

How deciding a life of yes turned into a challenge part 1

I totally got my ass handed to me today