Expect the Unexpected

     

Last week Tuesday I went into the hospital to have an ERCP and have a stint placed in my bile duct. By all accounts I knew this was gonna block out an entire day for me and probably the day after. Who knew that an hour long procedure was gonna land me in the hospital with severe pancreatitis. I always tell people if there is a side effect, Tyra will get it... no exceptions.

Fast forward to a week later, I'm out of the hospital but still suffering from pancreatitis. Tramadol and Hydrocodone have become my very best friends. Needless to say, exercise has been the very last thing that I want to do. I have been trying to walk... but I can only do .5 mile before my stomach starts to hurt (and that really wears me out).

5 Things I Realized While in the Hospital

1.     Nurses love me - Seriously they do, and I'll tell you why. After having two transplant and various other transplant related problems, I consider myself to be a seasoned patient... a professional if you will   I don't call them, I don't bother them, and most importantly I remember that they are human, who have flaws and who work a very difficult job and the last thing they want to deal with is a patient who is annoying and crabby. As a patient I only want to do one thing... take my pain meds and go to sleep, okay so that was two; now if only the person that I shared the room gotten that memo. (This was the first time that I've ever had a hospital room mate so it was an adjustment for me too) My last hospital stay would have been much more pleasant. Not only did she annoy her nurses, she annoyed the nurse techs, the front desk people, the dietary folks, me I think she might have even annoyed my mother. Let me give you an example: if she need the nurse she would press the call button and ask for the nurse if she didn't come in two minutes she would call again... then again if she didn't show up... finally she would get up and go the nurses’ station and make a stink about it... she did this several times a day... thank goodness I had my iPod.

2.     I love my family - My mom came and say me every day after work and we would have dinner together... okay I wasn't allowed to eat, so she would eat and I would sip water..AND she brought me panties...I don't know about you all but this was not a planned hospitalization, so I had nothing but what I came in with, so I was ever so grateful when she came with a brand new package of panties. My (sort-of) step-dad was awesome as well, he threatened to come and break me out of the hospital..when I started complaining about missing my cat.

3.     They have some premo drugs at the hospital - Self explanatory!!

4.     I missed the inter webs - Since my phone was dead and I didn't get my charger until the day I was discharged I wasn't about to get online. Which meant that I wasn't able to log into MyfitnessPal and after my streak of logging into for over 350 days in a row, I had to start over. Also I missed all of the awesomeness that was going on over at the Blue Team. Sunshine made me this for me... I love it!

5.     Clearly I am hilarious when I'm high on pain medication - Apparently I told my doctor right when they gave me medication before my procedure that I needed more knock-out drugs than the average person cause I'm a ninja.... You heard it here first peeps..I'm a bloody ninja! I took this picture while on some heavy duty medication... so clearly my wicked sense of humor is still here 

Emotional Fat

I've had so many people ask me, "do you feel smaller?" And every time I tell them the same thing... nope ! , but then again when I was heavier I didn't feel bigger either. But what I see when I look down and what I see in a mirror are not the same thing . When I take a picture and people say, "wow, you're so skinny" I always tell them that it's an illusion, the camera makes me skinnier (or I have awesome posing skills)

I know this is emotional... so now I'm coming to terms with and learning how to lose my emotional fat.

I don't know who this woman is... but I swear I'm gonna find her (not in a creepy stalker way)...I just want to say thank you for posting her journey were I could find it..

I have always said that weight loss has been the cheapest, yet the most devastatingly cathartic experience therapy I could get. And for weeks now I been saying that I have worked through my issues but the truth is like my weight loss goal I'm only half way there.







5 Things that tuned me in that I was STILL emotionally overweight

1. Wearing and buying clothes that are two big. Just recently I purchased a 2X shirt thinking it would fit...until I was a badgered into taking it back and exchanging it for a L. 
2. Comparing this weight loss journey with my past... when clearly the last time didn't work that well..(I gained it all back...and then some)
3. Comparing my weight loss journey with others....not gonna lie, I've been super jealous of people pulling in double digits at weekly weigh-in and the most I loss is 2 or 3 pounds.
4. Not celebrating my achievement... it's a big deal for me that I'm losing weight...I should really stop telling people that it's not
5. Not  being 100% honest with myself

So technically this was not supposed to be blog entry... just think of it as an epiphany that I wrote down to share.

Until next time